How NOT to eat a pomegranate

A hectic day at work yesterday left me feeling exhausted and with a headache to boot. Supper consisted of making a quick pasta out of some leftover steak and german sausage from Sundays barbecue with Jaz, Mark, Paul and Kylie.

I've half packed a small bag for Brisbane. Theres 2 hours before we head to the airport so am keeping my options open as to what clothes to take. I am bound to change the contents a few times before it gets zipped.

We bought a pomegranate, not because we wanted one or like them but we just saw them and they looked nice and red and shiny. We lost the first one. Who knows where, it maybe rolling around in the car but we cannot find it. Slightly peeved at this sad loss we bought another one which sat in the fruit bowl for over a week. We gave it occasional surreptitious glances, not quite sure if it was the right time or if we could handle the excitement.

This morning I took the plunge. I sliced it in half and popped a piece on both our plates of poached eggs on toast as a nice colourful garnish. It was a huge one, it took up half the plate. After a few minutes of picking out the tangy red seeds, John gave up and ate his eggs. I decided to take the easy route, I ate my eggs first.

Here is my guide to eating pomegranate:

1. Pick out a few pulpy seeds with a spoon, suck them, spit out the inner pips
2. Realise its going to take all day to do it this way
3. Squeeze the bugger so it makes the sound of bubble wrap being popped
4. Hold it above your head and let the juice ruin into your mouth and/or
5. Slurp the juice out of the skin while squeezing it some more
6. Repeat steps 3 to 5 until there's no juice left to drink, and no more popping sounds can be heard
7. Dispose of dead pomegranate skin
8. Use a sponge to clean the purple-red stains off the wall, bench tops and passing cats

Better fix that packing now.